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Revisiting Teacher Self-Care: Toxic Positivity and Purposeful Negativity

Updated: Sep 2, 2023

Awhile ago, I wrote a blog post about self care actions teachers can take today. Ironically enough, the date on that post was February 2020, and little did I know how critical, divisive, and necessary the discussion of self care for teachers was about to become. 


Since I hit publish on that post, the world has changed in many ways. Loud conversations are happening everywhere in the world of education right now, on many different topics.  From pandemic recovery to the role of technology to the staffing shortages at every level to a myriad of other topics, it’s a constant chatter right now. Some of these conversations are productive and some are not, but one thing they all haven in common is that they are LOUD. 

It’s hard to know how to feel in the midst of it all, isn’t it? Beyond that, it’s hard to find a break from it to exist separately from it.  We’ve heard a lot about the need for self care to combat all this noise, but under the circumstances that’s not quite enough.  There are two big traps to watch out for right now, and by doing so we can make self-care more effective and achieve the benefits while also changing and evolving the system we’ve all chosen to work within.


Trap #1: Toxic Positivity


Toxic positivity, simply put, is when negative feelings, emotions, and situations simply aren’t acknowledged.  If we pretend there are no problems, then there are no problems, right?  Likewise, if we are always told to have a good attitude, to keep smiling, to have a positive outlook, and that there’s no room for negativity, then eventually those actions become the only acceptable ones.  If we are feeling negative things or unpleasant things, then those things must be wrong and if we ignore them they will go away. If we just hustle harder, eventually we’ll make it. 

We’re here for the kids, right?

Folks, this is no way to run a railroad.  One of the most meaningful things we can do for ourselves and, indeed, for our students, is to model techniques for dealing with problems and negative/unpleasant emotions.  Because we know they are coming.  


What’s the Solution?

However, this also means that when we recognize a problem, we work to solve it. Educators assess; it’s what we do. We identify when a strategy or lesson isn’t working and we develop action steps to get the results we want, for the benefit of our students.  We can apply this same analytical mindset to our workplaces and our school communities outside of our classrooms as well. We have every right to be involved in those spaces and to not only identify problems, but to be a part of solutions.

Trap #2: Purposeful Negativity


The flipside of the coin of everything is perfect all the time, of course, is believing that everything is terrible and there can be no redemption. It’s constant complaining, malicious gossip, patronizing others, criticism that serves no purpose, and many other manifestations.  People who start off venting with their work friends find themselves caught in this spiral of negativity that impacts everything and steals the joy that once was there in work every day.

As if that’s not enough, now we can bring social media into the mix!  Remember those loud conversations I talked about earlier? Many of them are playing out on social media in view of the entire world. I absolutely believe in having difficult conversations and to exposing and examining problems- education has plenty of problems that need solving! But, not everyone participating in these conversations is there to really discuss issues and to generate solutions. Some people are there to watch things burn and to cause drama.  This keeps the wheel of negativity turning and turning and quickly and efficiently sucks all the joy out of the profession.  


What’s the Solution?

At the end of the day, we have immediate control over our own actions.  We can take an immediate step. We can mute that Twitter thread, or talk to someone else during lunch, or stop scrolling through our feeds if that isn’t uplifting.  We can choose to prioritize, to ask for help, and to make time for things in our day that will only happen if we put them there deliberately. We have to take those actions, if we want those changes, because frankly nobody else is going to do those things for us. 

Does that mean we shouldn’t fight to change problematic systems or advocate for what we believe to be right? Absolutely not, but it does mean that we have to balance our own needs with the needs (or perceived needs) of those around us. Our needs are just as important as those of others, and we can address our own needs while also supporting those around us, since it’s not a one or the other situation.  Focus on building people up. Success goes around and it comes around, too. 

Toxic positivity and purposeful negativity are both hugely destructive in any organization, but especially in education, where school staff at every level already pour so much of themselves into those around them- students, colleagues, families, and the community at large!  This year, let’s all work to choose ourselves and prioritize our needs.  Small actions add up and make a big difference, and we can’t adequately serve our students unless our needs have been met first. 

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